2 years ago today was the hardest day of my life. It was a day that felt like a wild tornado of pain, shock, grieving, mourning, and emotions that can't even be described with words. On this day two years ago, I had texted my dad and was heading home to the airport, where my dad was going to pick us up. But on my way to the airport, I got a call, that my dad had been in an accident and had been "promoted" to his new heavenly home.
I think of my dad every single day, waves of sadness and missing my dad, overwhelm me sometimes, but that's part of missing someone with our little earthly hearts. My dad would say: "No, don't you be sad! If you knew how awesome Heaven was, you wouldn't be sad! I want you to be happy and enjoy every day to the fullest while you're still on Earth! Go make me proud! Show this world what you got! Share love with everyone around you, everywhere you go! And make today better than yesterday!"
Today is not a day to be sad, or wallow in sadness or a day to force myself to imagine the pain that I went through or relive any of the moments or emotions from that day. Today and any day that marks the day you've lost a loves one, is a day to celebrate them, their life and the love you have in your heart! It's a day to remind you, to live bigger, better, bolder in their honor! Don't live small when you need to live extra large, in honor of that loved one. Let your heart shine more love, let your smile be bigger, all in their memory, and to shine more of all the sparkle, that they've left in your heart!
I watched videos of my dad, and re-read a bunch of texts my dad sent me this week. My heart was filled with love and I took in every bit of my dad's words. And even though my dad may not be on Earth anymore, all his memories are alive in my heart. Whenever I get sad and wish I could call my dad, I know his words stored in my heart so well, that I can just imagine everything he'd tell me.
Today I can't promise I won't cry, I might even cry while I'm smiling! Crying is good and heals your heart. My grandma said, "tears water the rainbows of healing to come out over your heart." So let the healing tears fall, let the rainbows of joy come out over your heart.
We can cry, but we don't need to wallow in the sadness. Don't let the death of them, be the death of your joy. Anyone we've lost would want us to, pick ourselves up, lie with some extra spunk, extra love, extra boldness all while we carry a banner of love and remembrance of them over our heart!
I know my dad is waiting for me in Heaven, that I have the wonderful hope that I will see him again, for eternity in heaven, which is far longer that this short little life, here on Earth filled with problems.
And if any of you are hurting and grieving with the pain of losing someone, I pray that God wraps you up in His heavenly comfort, like a big cozy blanket and that hope and joy start to fill your heart back up again. And that you choose, you decide in your mind, right this moment, that you will NOT live a life of unending agony, wallowing in the pain, but that you will choose too live a life that would make your loved one proud of your strength but mostly your joy!
Losing a loved one doesn't mean you need to become bitter, it means you know how more understanding of that pain and you know can comfort others that have gone through the same thing, and that that you are going to make this life better, in someone's honor!
My dad used to say: Make today better than yesterday.
And today, I will make it better than yesterday and I will keep doing that until the day I see my dad in heaven again too!
Huge hugs and so much love, your friend that knows the heartache of loss, but has decided to make my life "a gain" of joy and love, in memory of my dad. And thank you, Jesus (whether you believe in him or not, this is just what my heart believes) for being the sacrifice, so that this life isn't all we have, your friend Kandee
Let's live big, bold, better and with more fun and happiness today. I'm gonna make today as great as I can, for you dad!
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