I'm writing this from a desk in my kitchen, after a rough week and hearing heart-wrenching news about someone I dearly love that's in the hospital right now and someone else I love was rushed to the hospital last week. I do not have a perfect life. Actually the only thing perfect about it, is that it's "perfectly imperfect"!
My heart hurts, I cry when no one knows. I cry in my closet, because I miss my dad so much, I can't even handle thinking about it sometimes. I cry on the drive home, after I drop my lil' Blakey off at school, because he says he just wants to be with me all day. I cry when I feel like my life is so far away from what I dreamed when I was a little girl, that I'd marry the man of my dreams and have a perfect family and just be a mom and a wife, I used to dream of driving a mini van even.
I want anyone reading this to know is that, perfection is an illusion, no one has it, if anything celebrities lives are way messed up, they just have their poop-problems wrapped in glamorous wrapping paper! Just watch a few episodes of a reality show.
You're not alone if you feel like giving up, on yours dreams, your hopes, and for some even on life! I want you to know, that we all feel that way. And failures are a part of the most successful people's maps to their greatest accomplishments! You are in good company if you've failed at something. Every person who's done great things has failed their way to success. If you've been put down, told you'll never make it, have felt like everyone else is doing better than you....YOU'RE NOT ALONE!
It usually seems like right when you have the most hopelss moments of your life, it always right before something amazing is going to happen. It feels like it always test your strength. I remember many, many years ago I felt like all hope was gone and I was really trying to not to be depressed, it seemed as if all my friends were doing amazing things, except for me. And if I could've only told myself back then, you just wait, Simon Cowel is going to want to meet YOU! You are going to inspire other people to go after theirs dreams, I probably would've had a hard time believing that sitting in my sad little, dark house, pregnant, in a bad marriage and feeling really alone.
I ate almost an entire chantilly cake by myself yesterday, that's how miserable I was. Ha ha ha ha! You know when you eat almost an entire cake, things are not going well.
Every tear can water our hearts, to make them that much more understanding, loving, and caring and sympathetic to anyone who's heart hearts like ours has. Let the rainbows come out, after the you've rained tears on your heart. Let the strength come out and say, I might be walking in a bunch of poop right now, but I'm stomping is down into fertilizer so some amazing blossoms will grow!
Always know you're not alone, and I wish I could hug each one of you that is having a rough week, month or year...
Great people never give up, they just count their blessings, take a break to go easy on themselves, and wehn you can, try to put a smile on your face, try to make someone else's day brighter, love that precious lil' self of yours, and know that some girl, named, Kandee, loves you and would hug you so stinkin' hard if you were in front of her right now...
lots of hugs, your friend in your heart, Kandee
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