Me, yesterday.
4th of July
Lake Tahoe...where I've spent many a 4th of July.
It was a little hard on my heart.
I always have fun with my mom and the kids...but I just could help but think how much more fun we'd have with my dad there.
I wished my sister was with us too- she always makes things fun.
And I tried, in all my moments to have fun, and as Creedence Clearwater Revival's song, Bad Moon Rising- which was one of my dad's favorite songs came on the big speakers at the beach, my heart just missed him so much. I kept thinking all day what he would say about everything...my fun sunglasses, the funny little old men that dressed up on 4th of July costumes, how crowded the beach was, if he would have thought our food was good.
My dad probably would have given the little old men thumbs up and told em' how he loved their "festive" outfits. He would have made the kids laugh all day.
And then in the darkness, as the fireworks when off...
tears began to run down my face...
I know my life will never be the same. As I saw people all day, with their dads...I hope they realize how precious that is. How much people should appreciate each other.
As the tears slowly, stopped running down my face...even as the fireworks were still dazzling the sky...I told all my little family "I love you".
This 4th of July, had little moments that sparkled and I hope the kids will remember that we had little moments of fun...
and in the silence in my mind, and behind the smile I tried to shine at people around me....
my heart was.....sad.
Oh, Dad....I miss you so stinkin' much...it hurts. And I know these fireworks are nothing compared the "oohs" and "ahhs" of things in Heaven.
I know my dad would have had so much fun with us yesterday...
Still singing, "Don't go out tonight, there's bound to be a fight, there's a bad moon on the rise"....
and no matter how my heart misses my dad, I will try to make everything fun, because that's what he did....
off to go make something fun in his honor... and hugs for your heart in case it's hurting too, kandee
Click here to see some of our fun moments we had yesterday...
11 comments:
Thank you kandee for sharing this wonderful post with us. As I read it I thought about my father & tears started to stream down my face. I have a injury in my right leg & at the moment I am not able to walk on it. Its very painful to try & move it, but just being able to see my father this morning & have him give me a kiss on my cheek trying to encourage me to try stretch my leg means the world to me. It may not mean much to others but through this injury I have realized never take anyone you love for granted. It's a blessing just being able to have you're love one smile at you :)
God bless you kandee you inspire me in many ways. Be strong & remember you will have you're dad smile at you face to face once again in gods time.
Stay strong beautiful!
Kandee you have such a beautiful heart. God only knows how much you inspire me, and how much your blogs and tweets and videos help me get through my days. Your dad must be so proud, smiling down on you and your beautiful family from heaven. God bless you Kandee, stay strong
Stay strong !!!!
And I cried reading this !!!!
You are a wonderful beautiful person Kandee.
Kandee...ive been watching/reading you for sometime now and it breaks my heart that yours hurts sooo bad right now. You are an amazing person with an amazing spirit that came into this world with art and one hand and happiness in the other(remember).. I know first hand what you are going through... When our daddys (no matter how old we are) are taken from us it is an absolute unthinkable experience. Mine was taken from me 3 years ago when I was 22 on a day no different than any other I still dont believe he is gone somedays. Kandee the pain never goes away you dont wake up one day and think im gonna be ok with the fact that he isnt here. But what does happen is your heart heals a Lil more each day. That way you can find the ways he is still with you maybe his favorite song or a joke he would have loved. These things will come in time so that you can see he is still there for you and babies. I know its so soon but even though maybe you cant see it now. Soon you will be able to make it through the day or even week without the tear in your eye. I think you are amazing you make me feel amazing on the worst of days with your positive post. Just know that you arent alone in your feelings.......ashleyb881
My dad was my hero, and one of my fondest memories is a family wedding we attended, he asked me to dance to the song "what a wonderful world". My father passed away suddenly this past October. There isn't a single second I don't miss him. Well, last night at the fireworks, they played American music over the loud speakers, and I started thinking about how much my dad loved fireworks, and I thought of just how much I miss him. Well, right then "wonderful world" started playing over the speakers. I knew he was with me and I could almost remember how it felt when he hugged me because I felt his arms around me. Your dad might not be there in physical form, but he's there for you in spirit, bidding you love, peace, and happiness.
You always write from the heart..so beautiful even in these hard times. Wishing you much strength and many blessings. Also for your family. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feeling with us.
Stay strong Kandee,
Rebekka
reading this made me kinda sad...
im 15 & my dad has been in prison for 9yrs so i've never really grown up with my dad,
& I agree people should be happy 4 the family they have because some people dont have them :']
Kandee, Thanks for sharing this with us-you'll never know how much you inspire others, your smile and kind words warms so many of our hearts..I look forward to reading your Blogs everyday.....a breathe of fresh air...Hugs and Blessings to all!!!
Stay strong!!! And remember you will always have your blog family by your side.....well in your computer!!
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