what the heck is in your hair!

and why do I wear 2 different earrings! well, I've got the answers for you...and you get to come on a fun adventure with me to meet my friend Bethanie, and watch her put FEATHER EXTENSION in my hair!

so fun, and yes that has been what's looked like highlights in my hair....but it was just "pregnancy" (because it's not safe to do highlighting when you're pregnant)...safe "highlights"....

COME ON...let's go on a hair adventure together!!!

huge love and 2 different earrings....your friend, KANDEE!

Don't Stop Believing

 Sometimes I go to type a blog and I wonder if people will like it..or if they'll ever come back to read my blog..."was it interesting enough"...."maybe I should've blogged about a lipgloss instead"...."maybe that will make no one want to come back and read my blog tomorrow".....ha ha ha

I hope this post goes out to someone who's heart needs to hear this today.

"no one knows the sadness in our hearts except for God..."

I think it's so funny whenever someone tells me that they think I have this "perfect" life...ha ha ha
My life is so far from perfect...it's funny.
My heart breaks for the imperfections in my life...
that I'm divorced...that my kids won't grow up like I did...always knowing the stability of "home"...
my heart aches so much...when the kids have to go visit their dad...it feels like their little world feels so "unpredictable"....my world feels like a huge hole is missing from my heart when they're not with me...
and it's so hard...
hot tears are filling up my eyes as I try to type this..oh the tears make it so blurry I can't really see the keyboard.....

My life is so far from perfect...it is full of hurts, wounds, and scars...
I know what it feels like to have an aching heart...to feel all alone...to feel like your life is so far from perfect or anywhere near it...that you just want to cry until you have nothing left to cry...that you are in the deep, deep depths of a valley...far from the happy mountain tops!

Please know...that you are not alone. Whatever hurts or scars you have...that is the beauty. The strength that says...I WILL NOT let this defeat me. I won't let anyone ruin my heart. I will make this life beautiful...no matter what gets thrown at me....no matter what things may seem like mountains in my path... I will find away through it.

No one's life is perfect...no one is just happy on the mountain tops all the time. We all have valleys, with low moments of hurt and pain (that's just life)...but it's in those moments of low-ness, when are true character comes out...when God hopes that we will come running to him, for him to hold us and be what are hearts are longing for.

Most often...what seems IMPOSSIBLE...is just something that's never been done before. My life has been filled with things that I thought seemed "impossible" to me...
they probably were impossible...but with God ALL things are possible...
joy in times of sadness...peace when everything should feel like chaos...
I may have tears at night...but I know that joy can always show up in the morning.
Every sunrise is a bright and shining new day...waiting with a little more hope...a little more bits of glimmering sparkles to encourage you on your way.

My heart feels sad...and no one will ever know my hurts...or your hurts...except for God...but he's there to lift those burdens from your heart and fill the holes of hurt...with his perfect love. He know the plans he has for you...plans to give you hope and a prosperous future...
hold on...you have no idea what's around the corner in your future....
KEEP HOPE ALIVE....HOPE is what pulls us through....you need the seed of hope to grow that dream to become real!

BELIEVE it...that's the first step.

HOPE for it...and don't stop...second step.

KEEP ON BELIEVING....and never stop...the moment you stop believing...you end the oxygen to your dreams!

 this was typed with so much love that I hope you can feel it...
sending you so much hope and love right now....your kandee

View from my window...

if you were standing next to me...this is what you'd see from my bedroom window....
my happy, cheerful, golden yellow dining chairs...
that have been patiently waiting to have their cushions re-upholstered in hot pink patent leather....
they were my artsy project right before baby came...
I'm not sure when I'll have time to put the cushions on...or re-upholster them now! ha ha ha

On my huge list of favorite colors....this buttery yellow is ranked pretty high...matches my yellow rose ring that my sister got me at Nordstrom's Brass Plumb department...a while ago....I've only seen one other flower ring that was like it, on a girl walking down the street in SOHO...I actually stopped her! ha ha ha

But somehow looking out my window at their bright and cheeriness...made me smile....
I love that you can see Blakey's tractors in matching yellow-goldy-ness in the background...he worked on tractors....and I worked on painting the chairs! (I even think I had filmed it to do a Do-It-Yourself video..how to make thrift store chairs look AWESOME!) ha ha ha

hope my "shared" view brings some happiness and cheer to your day too!

yellow chairs...kandee

and hopefully a video on how to re-upholster your chairs in glossy hot hot pink material! yay!

Smile....

(this was my little princess...smiling this morning...so happy my camera was fast enough to catch this!)
You can click here to see her first "meet baby" video! www.kandeeland.com
I thought it was perfect that after I posted about me being nicknamed "Smiley"....then to wake up to this precious little smile...heavenly.

Yesterday...and I knew it was coming...after you have a baby...all the hormones that were swirling around during pregnancy...now have no place to go...EXCEPT to make you cry...(imagine PMS crying emotions times 1,000..ha ha ha)...
tears ran down my face...my heart felt sad...and then I looked at this princess...and I can't help but just grinning a huge smile as I look at this picture while I type this...

I love this song from Nat King Cole....Smile

 Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

This picture always makes me smile too...my great grandma in my costume glasses...ha ha ha

 

if your heart is feeling sad today...if there's an ache inside that won't go away...

lift your heart to the heavens.....

and feel me smiling at you...from my heart to yours....

our smiles can be the greatest invitation to happiness!

Here's smiling at you!

(one of my favorite pictures from the happiest place on Earth, as well as my favorite places, Disneyland!)

love, smiles, and sending a hug through the computer to brighten up your day...

YOUR KANDEE

on this day 2 years ago....I had..

pink eye....well not the kind that makes your all all pinky and crusty...ha ha ha but I thought is was fun to see what I was doing exactly 2 years ago on this day...this was pretty shortly after I started doing youtube....
Thank you so much to everyone who has been part of the "Kandee Family"...from those who've followed me since the start...and to those who may have just found out about our happy-kandee-fam today!
We've come so far...and so much has changed...from making a pink eye video...to making our CUPCAKE UPDATE videos (new bloggy on her at my www.kandeeland.com blog too)


Have fun and enjoy..."what were we doing 2 years ago today"......getting ready to do a fun pink Valentine's Day look!

here's what I used:
Hot Pink Lipstick from Covergirl in Pink Wink
Hot Pink Blush (on your eyes as an eyeshadow) in DEEP PINK from MAC
*any cheap pink shadow from the drugstore will work...you don't need to spend al lot!)
Black Eyeliner in SMOLDER from MAC
Light Baby Pink Shimmery color...like a pearly-light pink...I can't see the name of the one I have.....so sorry
Highlighter in SHELL from MAC
Light Pink Blush in DANDELION from Benefit
White pearl eyeshadow for highlight on cheek in PLATINUM LUSTER from the The Body Shop

Brushes:
flat angled brush
fluffy brush like (224 from MAC)
flat blending brush
fluffy cheek brush

And I already primed my face- you can watch my video on Youtube on Getting Flawless Skin

Thanks for watching!! And you can watch the video on Youtube...it's looksso much better, I think! Lipgloss and Lashes, Kandee
PS. and please subscribe to me on Youtube so they'll let me make better, longer videos! Thanks everyone...you're all so wonderful!

a few of my favorite things....

flowers....any kind really

the color turquoise

the scent of vanilla

sunsets and sunrises

the smell of fresh clean sheets (and coffee)

and the list could go on and on....ha ha ha

Bobby brought me these roses last night...

and this lil' rose for the little cupcake!

Sometimes it's the smallest things in life that make is seem grand! Like flowers...and smiles, and a kind word....

you have no idea how one sweet smile could change someones day...

one word of encouragement can inspire a dream to come true....

one "i love you"....can warm a heart and change a life...

As I've watched more tv in the last 3 days since I've been up all night with little baby...than I've watched in months...it just shows people being awful, rude, and disgusting...and they call it a "show"....it's so sad.

The world needs less selfish people with mean attitudes...and more people who are willing to shine some love around this world....!

You never know the one smile you start sharing....how it will get "passed" around from another smiling person to another!

I had a teacher who had knicknamed me "Smiley" (I know, not that terribly creative! ha ha ha)...because I was......

always smiling......It's amazing how much a smile can lift someone's spirit...sometimes the one it lifts the most...is even your own!

I am smiling as I type this...and I hope you can feel it in your heart too!

huge love and even bigger smiles....your kandee

How to get this Look!

ha ha ha ha....this look was achieved by not sleeping but a few hours during the last 72 hours...not showering as often as normal...and going through labor! ha ha ha ha

what I used: (ha ha ha ha)
you can wash your face with one of my favs:

BURT'S BEES CITRUS FACIAL SCRUB
reasons I love this: it feels great, and removes all make-up and dirt from your pores...it's gentle enough to use everyday!

I just started using:

MURAD's HYDRO-DYNAMIC ULTIMATE MOISTURIZER

and I sleep with this chapstick next to me..ha ha ha (my mom kept putting it on me when I was in labor..ha ha a...she knows how much I can't stand having dry chapped lips...ha ha ha)

TREAT SOFT CANDY Vanilla Buttercream Chapstick

and the hair is just compliments of my pillow and dirt! ha ha ha ha

talk about a fast beauty routine! ha ha ha ha....
love and a shower (which I can't wait to take!!!)...your kandee

PS. Don't forget all the daily "cupcake-ness" on my personal bloggy: www.kandeeland.com)

my new no make-up and hair look!

today i had more "beautiful" things to do than put on my make-up or even brush my hair! ha ha ha
A truly beautiful person can be seen in the dark...
if you close your eyes...you can feel someone's beauty...you don't need eyes too see if someone's truly beautiful...beautiful in the way they make your feel...that's what's really beautiful...
Today I felt beauty and love swirling around my heart...not one ounce of make-up, hairstyling, or even fun clothes or accessories...
just so much love....me and my new little princess (you can read more on my personal bloggy: www.kandeeland.com)...we danced to Jack Johnson...cuddled, snuzzled...and even though I felt exhausted beyond belief....I just wanted to stay away and look at her.

Of all the jobs I've ever had...being a mom is my most wonderful, rewarding, and heart swelling job....I'll work 25 hour days happily...i'll gladly wake up in the middle of the night to hold any of my babies, comfort them, and fill up their hearts with mama's love...
off to pour some love on my little people...
huge love and no make-up...you kandee

She's Here! She's here! The Cupcake is here!

i'll blog more tomorrow..but i am super exhausted...and it's not so easy for me to type right now...just so excited to show her to the world!!!

(SORRY, I know I posted the same post on both blogs....but labor was tiring and I don't think I have the energy to type 2 blogs...ha ha ha... i had a bit of a rough patch after baby was born....I'll talk about it later...but I'm ok now! hooray!)

i posted about...
thinking i should call my midwife on facebook and twitter at about 3:40 in the morning
and little Cupcake (who we still haven't picked out a name for...we have up to 30 days! ha ha ha) at 7:04am!
I'll give you all more details later...just sooo tired....

she weighed 8 lbs and 2 oz, was 21.5 inches long...and is perfect...

 after she got "dressed"...thanks to "Nana Shannon"...she is still laying on the little sling that they weigh her with....

she is snuzzled up next to me right now...and my heart grew even bigger today with love for her!

all the kids woke up a couple hours after she was born and were so excited to see her...even big brother Jordan....

I promise I will type more filling you  in on all the fun details about everything from labor and everything else....I'm just a wee bit exhausted.....it's alot of work getting a cupcake out of the oven! ha ha ha..but worth every single moment!

Our Cupcake is here!!!! Just had to show her to you all......"our cupcake is here!"
huge love and a semi-deflated belly....your kandee and her cupcake

What' s in my PREGNANT PURSE!! (hello kitty!)

Get ready to have your mind blown! ha ha ha
Since I haven't done a "what's in my purse" video in a long time...here's a special "purse treat!"....
there's bow rings, make-up..endless amounts of a certain item that I have REE-DONKEY-KONG-U-LOUS amounts of! ha ha ha

(oh yes, and saving everyone from typing an email asking where I got my purse, click here:

www.baghaus.com)


(and I'm editing some funny purse outtakes...that will only be shown on this blog or my other:
www.kandeeland.com bloggity)

this is my favorite STILL shot that youtube picked for my video...MAMA BOW RING and BABY BOW RING...it's like me and my lil' cupcake right now! hee hee

have fun....I made this for you!!! (and you can watch my sister's video below...she did a purse video then left this comment on YOUTUBE...it was on....I had to do one after this:

here's my sister's video to compare us! ha ha ha
(she is way sillier than I am, but has a much more conservative purse! ha ha ha And I love how we both have "sparkly" things in our purses!)


love and sanitizers....ha ha ha...your KANDEE

PS check my preggy blog ( www.kandeeland.com) for more updates (I've been having contractions while I edited this video and typed this! ha ha ha..se we're in labor together!)

DIY: RED isn't just fun on your LIPS!!!

I LOVE color and transdormations! (I don't care if it's changing someone's make-up so they look totally different, or changing some old furniture of "treasures" around your house!)
AND COLOR is what makes our make-up fun....our outfits stand out from everyone else...you can't help your eyes from being captivated by a bright red pair of pin-up lips....same with color anywhere!
Why live in a boring "black and white" world...when your eyes can swim in delight with colors everywhere! Let's take a walk on the "colorful" side of life!

BEFORE

(plain ol' black planter and green, decorative leaf things... I got both at  TARGET)

this was way too "not-colorful-enough-for-kandee"......
#1.  so a quick spray of white primer.....

#2. and 2 coats of Rustoleum Red Gloss Spray paint

and TA-DA!!!! Way more fun and eye-catching! It just puts me in a happier mood!!! It looks like red lip gloss! LOVE IT!

FINAL RESULT:
my entry way looks so much more fun and colorful!! IT SAYS: "hey, someone fun lives here! Wait til you see the inside!" ha ha ha ha
I really want a RED front door...but I only rent, so no front door for now! ha ha ha

huge love from "HANDY KANDEE"!

How to dress up your house!

I've been hunting for the coolest rugs for my kitchen...it's like getting dressed but for your house! ha ha
I found this awesome rug company..called:

Have fun with the way you decorate your house! Make it a fun haven of style and creativity to recharge yourself and your creativity!

I picked out the Leopard Noir rug for my kitchen!

Look at this awesome wood grain rug...they print patterns that are like photographs onto the rugs! I love this!

 Not only am I in love with this color green of the chair....and this rug (I have the rug...it's an IKEA rug!)

I also love this turquoise velvet glider from Jennifer DeLonge (she's married to Tom DeLonge, from the band Blink 182)...she designs the cutest kids furniture too!

And this headboard from Room Service (one of my fav "inspiration" furniture stores in LA)...makes me want to drool with all it's luscious, velvety, upholstered stylish-ness!

They make this amazing glossy nightstand too... I love it's glossy white-ness....I'd switch out the knobs for pink "crystal" girly ones!!! This is from ROOM SERVICE too!

Hope this was a fun peek into HOME STYLE!! It's like house fashion! hee hee

Now if only every overhead light in my house could be a girly, crystal chandelier....I'd love it!!!
leopard rugs and chandeliers...kandee

PS CLICK HERE to see my BABY BLOGGY~ kandeeland.com

My HELLO KITTY DEBIT CARD and other cute things of the day!

Puh-leeeeeeze look at this Debit Card....it is the cutest thing in my wallet! ha ha ha
Yes, I just got a HELLO KITTY DEBIT CARD...some banks offer free custom designs for your debit cards....I was flipping through their little book...and after like 5 pages of sports team card options..... I saw HELLO KITTY!!! It was free too!
Now my hello kitty card will rest safely in my Hello Kitty Pursey!!!

 Now for the cutest laptop bag I've ever seen! I got this super cute laptop bag from FLUFF, at Whole Foods, of all places to find a laptop bag! ha ha ha
I love this bag...it's padded inside and has 2 interior pockets, and velcro straps to hold your computee in place!
I absolutely love this bag...and the little doll face on it!!!
FLUFF makes other cute, funky, and super fun laptop bags too!

There was a little style snack for the day from your bestie, Kandee!

laptops and hello kitty....kandee

Fashionista: maternity style

Fashion through the Trimesters! ha ha ha

First Trimester....and not one of these items is a maternity piece of clothing!

(everything was from H &M, Charlotte Russe, Old Navy, or Forever 21!)...

as I searched through my closet today to find a shirt to wear...

my big belly...has grown even bigger....

I had about 4 shirts to choose from...

ha ha ha ha...

that is the true sense of creativity...

when you've got nothing to wear and make some outfit, out of that "nothingness"....

ha ha ha ha

My favorite pregnancy and ANY time items of clothing:

legging

long shirts over the leggings

boots

hats

and any shirts from American Apparel 

and all the stores I mentioned above!  hee hee

I'm thinking of doing a maternity fashion haul video...would that be interesting!?! Let me know what you think?

huge love from kandee and her getting even bigger belly....

They said WHAT!?!

My precious Jordan is a melting pot of nationalities...from me he gets a mixture of:

Danish, Spanish, Mexican, Native American, Swedish, Irish and a dash of English...

from his dad he gets:

Native American (Cherokee & Choctaw), Japanese, African American, English and Jewish...

I think he is so handsome...with all his many different pieces of nationalities...just like a beautiful mosiac...the more differences their are...the more beautiful it becomes!

and so much more interesting with all his combinations...

Once Jordan came home from school during Black History Month...

and told me what some unkind kids had told him at school:

"if this was back then,  you'd have to ride in the back of the bus!"

My reaction was: "what!?!?"

Jordan said: 

"you want to know what I told them?.....

I said, I'm kinda light skinned...so I'd actually sit in the middle of the bus!"

Me and Jordan both started laughing so hard!!!!

He is so smart and witty...I couldn't have thought up a better response!

It's a little ironic that people would leave all kinds of racist comments about my Jordan on youtube, the day before Martin Luther King Day...

Martin Luther King was an incredible man, with remarkable wisdom, and he showed God's love and wisdom to so many people filled with hate and anger...and so many people who were hurt and crushed...

here's a beautiful part from his famous, "I have a Dream" speech, that I love:

But there is something that I must say to my people, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.

One of my Grandma,

Barbara Johnson's, favorite saying was about having boomerang joy...

you throw out a boomerang of joy and love, and it will always come back and fill you up with more love and joy....

some sad people throw out their boomerangs of hate and anger...and the sad thing is...it will always come back and hit them with a huge dose of hate and anger!

Let's start throwing out those boomerangs of love and joy! 
love and boomerangs....kandee

No power to the Haters!

"is this hater worth giving away my happiness to them?"....

NO WAY!

On Youtube, yesterday one of my "due date" videos got featured on the homepage....which means that thousands of people that normally wouldn't ever see my videos, will.

It means I will read some of the most discusting, evil, cruel and horrible things below my video....

Some people wrote things calling me all kinds of awful names...saying horrible things like they hope I die in labor and I can't even say the disgusting and cruel things they said about this precious baby that is still growing in love in my belly.

It went on to my other videos where people were saying disgusting and racist things about my Jordan...who is part African American, Japanese, Native American and English and that's not inlcuding all the nationalities that I donated to him.

Sometimes you need to take a break from something that is just spewing out badness....

as I read all these awful comments....

the ones about me are not nice...but when you insult one of my precious babies, or anyone that I love...it bothers me because I don't EVER want any of my loved ones to read that!

WE HAVE THE POWER TO LET THINGS OFFEND US....

I will not give my joy and happiness away to someone who is writing cruel things from behind the safety of their silly username and computer, or someone that cuts me off in traffic, or like all the grumpy people we come in contact with everyday!

The  DO NOT GET the power to take my joy away!

I will not give it to them.

My HAPPINESS is here to stay.

Instead of praying for people to be nicer to me....

I'm going to pray that no matter how mean people are to me...that I won't allow them the power to take an ounce of my happiness or peace!

No one knows us truly...people can hurl all kinds of assumptions, opinions, and cruel things at us...

but I will not give them the honor of having the power to let it effect me!

Since I am ready to have baby any day know, and wisdom speaks to our hearts that we need to surround ourselves with positivity, love and happiness...

not cruel and evil things (like the comments were...which I finally went on youtube and disabled)...

it was time to recharge and take a break from reading that!

I want to thank all my precious Kandee Family for leaving each one of your kind words and comments...

you have no idea how much I treasure the love in everything you take time to type!

I feel like my heart is this big treasure chest filled with sparkly jewels of love that each one of you have placed there....

thank you so much!!!!

I love you all so dearly...and I thank you so much for letting me into your hearts!

Let's stand strong....and say, "sure you are entitled to you opinion, however wrong, ridiculous, or mean it might be.....but I am entitled to not let anything you say be powerful enough for me to hand you over my happiness!"

huge love...and hugs...your kandee

Peek in My Closet & today's make-up!

 I am in the process of "unpacking" my closet....(and yes I think I will be having an "ebay-garage-sale" after going though a bunch of my stuff...I'll post it here or on facebook...but it won't be for a few weeks or so!)

I have fallen in love with a hanger! These "skinny hangers", that are velvety, and feel like they are flocked, like a christmas tree- are amazing! Not only can you fit like 50% more clothes in your closet because of their "skinny-ness"....but your clothes do not slip off the hangers! I love these...I got mine for super cheap at Marshall's and in hot pink!...they were way more expensive at Bed Bath & Beyond...and they only had cream and black.

DAILY QUOTE: 

FASHIONS FADE, STYLE IS ETERNAL - Yves Saint Laurent

And here's a special treat for my "blog family"...it's just a fun "non-tutorial-ish", peek into my daily make-up routine...and some hair teasing...and Blaker running around in the background! ha ha

Let me know if you like this little bonus video...this will not be on youtube either....I want to do some special stuff for all my "kandee blog family"....I heart you guys and all your comments that make my heart so happy!!!

HAVE FUN AND COME WITH ME AS I GET READY!!

dancing while putting make-up on.....your kandee

It's My DUE DATE!!!!

Hi my precious Kandee family! I can't wait to introduce you to new baby!!!
So this is the day for baby to show up...or so the calender says! ha ha ha
This is also the only "pregnancy portrait" I have available to show you!  (which I took myself...as most of my photos are...ha ha ha) I see other people with blogs...and it looks like they have a photographer with them at all times to take pictures of them....all I have is me, maybe my mom or my kids to take a picture of me! ha ha ha

My mom (who used to have a photography business) took some really awesome, kinda rock n' roll -ish, pregnancy portraits of me when we were in NYC...but she can't find the memory card anywhere!

(maybe it will pop up! ha ha ha)
don't forget to check my www.kandeeland.com blog for all things baby-ness!

I have a big day today...especially if baby "Princess & the White Stick" shows up today!

This is my new all-time favorite video....

due date lady.....your kandee

Don't know how I forgot to BLOG about this!!!!

Look at the EXCITEMENT on my face!

I was so excited when I won The Cover Girl Beauty Guru Challenge....

 I felt like I won the lottery or something amazing.....

 but there was even something more amazing....

that I forgot to post!

How could I forget to share this!?!

oh my golly!

this was one of my first "Congratulation" cards that came from ELLE MAGAZINE to lil' ol me!!!!

The wonderfully sweet, beauty editor at ELLE Magazine, Emily Dougherty...she was so fun and nice...I felt like we had been friends forever! She INVITED me to go into the ELLE BEAUTY CLOSET!!!!
This is the moment I felt like the kid that won the, "shopping spree in Toys R'Us"!!!!

Me with Emily in the beauty closet!!! I wish I had a beauty closet at my house! ha ha ha

There was every brand of anything...and things I'd never heard of! Beauty Heaven!

 She told me because I won, I could pick out a box full of treasure!

I wanted to scream with excitement! I had never owned a DIOR eyeshadow palette before...and was so excited....I still have it, and only use it on rare, special occasions! ha ha ha

Just wanted to bring you with me into "real" beauty closet at a magazine!!! ELLE Magazine! I can't believe that was a real day in my life!!!! I will treasure it always!!!

beauty closets!!!!! your KANDEE