Saturday....

today was a good day....i didn't really think about any of the stressful things in my life...all day long...
I had nice day...I laughed....I saw the sunset...I felt like my heart was floating...my mind and my heart felt like they got to go on the most amazing vacation....
I had yummy food and I saw pretty things....I got to window shop...
and it was good...I felt adored and it was so good to feel like this...
I know this week I have a lot to do...some of it is far from fun.....
but maybe in those moments, I will reach into my memory bank....and think about these moments and it will make my heart smimetimes walking down the street...
i will type more later...but I have to go.....huge love, kandee

I'm getting married....

(this is me with the "bridal" look)(and this is much blonder, and fair-er friend, on her wedding day, with the same make-up I did for her)

just kidding....
but if you are.....here is a super-asked-for look....wedding-bridal make-up...this is the day that most every girl has dreamed about her whole life. Even if you're not getting married, this is a great, beautiful look...and I show you tricks and tips to make your make-up last all day and possibly all night too!
On this day you will be like a celebrity...probably the most photographed day of your entire life...so you should look like a star too!

This is the most, most, most requested look I get when brides ask for make-up (and I've done countless bride's make-up)
this is how it usually goes:
kandee: so what look do you want?
bride: a clean, fresh, dewy, smokey eye!

All those sound like they'd be hard to put together...but I'll show you how to do it...and everyone looks stunning with this look. Also, how I show you to apply it, brides have told me that they have woken up the next day and still looked just as good as when I put it on them.

I hope this helps make you feel extra glamorous and will make your groom's jaw drop when you walk down the aisle!

Remember:
*make sure not to get any facial treatments 2 weeks prior to your big day (facials bring all the dirt down in the pores to the surface and cause "breakouts")
*make sure you get all your facial waxing done at least a week prior to wedding day
*make sure you don't drink any alcohol the morning of the wedding (it will cause redness in the face which no concealer will hide)
*up your water intake to half your weight in ounces, every day, for clearer, non-puffy face
*make sure you relax and enjoy every moment...it will be over sooner than you think....and remember, things will go wrong...so just expect something to go wrong...and you won't get too upset. (every wedding I have done make-up for, something has gone wrong...and not one of them has ever started on time! ha ha ha)

I hope this helps you look and feel absolutely gorgeous, and I am honored to get to share this with you to be a part of such a special day for you!!!
huge love, kandee

little kandee....

(I am smiling away on the far left....then my neighbor Mark, and my lil sis Tiffany..the other dark haired little lady)

some days...i wish I could go back and be 6 or 7 again...no worries except what to play...that smiley little girl is still me....we are all that same little person...with usually the same likes, the same dreams....I still like all the same stuff...photography, drawing, decorating things, dressing up, smiling, making up movies in my head...dancing and twirling....
and then
some days
...and I had one yesterday...I was walking to my car....and so many things had happened that day.....tears started fuzzing up my eyeballs....
I talked to my mama....tears started fuzzing up my eyes again.....
I talked to my sister.....tears...

I was hit with some "less-than-lovely" news yesterday...(read yesterday's blog to see why I can't talk about it yet...even though I would rather be an open book..and share all my life happenings)...
and I am not going to say "things can't get any worse"...because right when you do that.....OH something will happen!...ha ha ha

then I realized...everything is all how you look at it....and I said, "you know, this isn't so bad....I've been through a whole lot worse"...this is all do-able....I can handle all of this....
God wouldn't give me more than I can handle...and God must think I'm pretty strong...ha ha ha
I know all this is going to make be tougher....I probably won't get my feelings hurt like I used to, when someone would say something mean, like in high school.....now I get mean comments about me all the time...ha ha ha ha


If today seems hard or sad....know you're not alone...
The sun is shining brightly this morning....I have a smile in my heart....despite any "unpleasant" things I have to deal with....
And we wil be life-warriors....nothing is going to break us...no one is going to break us....we are strong....we will resist others evil words and actions....
we will go after our dreams with a passion....we will spread love and be a light in a dark and unhappy world...
and we will be a source of love and encouragement to others....
I know you all have already been this for me!!!

This was typed with love and a smile....and I hope it brightens your day...
you're more beautiful than you know
more talented than you think
and more loved than you can imagine....
your friend, kandee

Love Letters....

how not to have a bad day....

1. don't answer the phone to get some really not-so-good-news (which I wish I could share with all of you that I care for...but unfortunately, there are a few unkind people who only look at my blog and facebook, so that they can make little comments about me and post them everywhere)

2. don't get even more bad news on the phone.....

3. don't wake up after getting 4 hours of sleep because you were up working on the computer

....I did all of those things.....

I felt numb as I drove in my car......I grabbed my mail key and went into the post office....
as I opened the door...."love letters" started spilling all over the place!
My heart...in that instant felt so loved and uplifted....as my eyes looked at all the carefully written addresses on the envelopes.....
I carefully took all my "precious parcels"......and walked to my car...where I spent over an hour, looking at each envelope, and appreciating each letter that someone hand wrote....(or even typed)...they are all so wonderful.....from the handmade cards, to little goodies inside...to the precious words of love, hope, and encouragement...to getting a peek into your heart and lives from your stories!
I spent over an hour sitting in the parking lot in my car, opening each letter...and I could feel my "love tank" filling up....and the numbness started to melt away!

There aren't enough words in the world to tell you what each of those letters mean to me! I will save and cherish each one!
THANK YOU!!!!! I want to THANK EVERYONE that mailed me a "love letter"......(I liked the one with the 2 pennies in it too!) Thank you so much for taking the time out of your lives to share a gift with me.....that touched my heart, on a day that I could use it so much!!! Each word was like a ray of sunshine warming my heart! I love all my letters!!!! And all of you that wrote them! You guys are truly amazing!!!

I hope today that we all can spread more love to a hurting world.....whether it's a letter, a gift, a kind word, or maybe just a hug.....and we can throw love out into the world like a BOOMERANG...and it will come back to us, too!

huge love to all my precious, sweet, and very caring friends....huge hugs and love, kandee

here;'s a video I made last night....that I just wanted to share with all of you...from my heart!

Falling in Love.....

i know....sometimes, if you are not with someone to whom you can plan giving lovey things to...the thought of walking inside every store right now....filled with hearts bigger than you head, more red and pink than an entire Victoria's Secret store....and more cupid's than you see for the rest of the year...makes you want to say "BAAAAA Heart-bug!"......and run right past all that heart crap....

BUT.....if you are in "like" or love with someone....then your mind dances wildly with all the sweet things you can do....make "love" coupons......bake something yummy....the little lovey things you'll write in the cards you buy....notes to be left in pockets or on bathroom mirrors...

and somewhere in between these two....is....
LOVE give yourself a Valentine's....love on yourself.....the best way to take care of our love garden...is to water your own garden....tell yourself how beautiful you are today....get yourself a little treat...maybe a new magazine....or some small little inexpensive goodie...a yummy scented lotion or perfume...a new song off of itunes to dance to...a little craft project for your creative heart....

If you fall in love with yourself (and I mean this is the most non-stuck-up kind of way)...your confidence will soar....and you will know the special and amazing person that you are....and you will be 20,000 times more attractive to everyone around you!

I have a friend who is not happy with her weight....but she doesn't let it effect her....she acts like she is the most attractive thing in the room! ANd you know what!?! Her confidence rubs off on everyone.....and guys just flock to her! I love it!

Today's mission:
tell yourself....I am loved, I am beautiful...everyone likes when I'm around, I'm fun...I'm interesting, and Kandee thinks I'm amazing!!!!!!

buy yourself a little something fun (even if it costs a $1)

You are great....and you deserve to know how amazing you are! I love ya lots....hugs through the computer...kandee

the blues....avatar style...

feeling blue...or better yet, want to just look blue?

I got so many requests for this Avatar look...it was so fun to do...I love when I get to be really creative...and do a fun look like this!

Everybody can use a little extra art & creativity in their day...whether it's looking through a magazine that inspires you...to wearing a little something that feels extra creative, to even getting the big guns out...and maybe painting or tinkering around on a piano and guitar...
Anything that will cause "creative fireworks" to go off in your heart!

Remember that sometimes you need to "light the fireworks" of creativity in your heart....they won't just sparkle all by there little selves!

Back to the make-up...
So I used airbrush make-up to do all the base make-up and contouring, and I used the regular white airbrush make-up and a plain old paint brush to do the dots....
If you want an airbrush, you can get a deal on one from Dinair - they are the originators of airbrush make-up...I love their products and their entire staff!
CLICK THE IMAGE BELOW TO SEE ALL THEIR PRODUCTS & SPECIAL OFFERS:




I hope you have a "creative firework" day, filled with loads of artistic sparkles!!!
huge love, enjoy the video I made you all you guys!
xoxo kandee

don't dream a little dream....

(the "big" view from on top of the Empire State Building in New York...sometimes you just need to have "big vision" for your dreams...here's a view to inspire you...)

dream a big dream...
people waste their dreams...by never doing anything to make them happen! Let's be dream makers....not dream wasters!

Just like each person has their own fingerprints and likes and dislikes....you have your own personal dream...and your own one-of-a-kind-talent...no one else will say they same things you will, paint a painting the way you will, sing a song the same way...or even draw out the beauty in someone by doing their make-up, the same way...

Whatever moves you, excited you, whatever you have a "knack" for.....go after it! Go after it, big time! The small details are what will make your big dreams....come true!

And don't listen to the dream-stopper lies that try to prevent your dream from happening...
your never:
*too old, or too young....(The world famous chef Julia Child, didn't start cooking until she was in her 50's)

*not talented enough...(some of the most famous people were told they had no talent! From Frank Sinatra to The Beatles!)

*have no time...(some of the most amazing inventions and books were written when people had to do them at night, because they were busy with work or kids during the day)

*you have lost hope....(whatever is lost can be found.....find your dream and your hope..and work hard to keep it alive...water your dreams & hopes, daily....no one can make them grow except you...and God...but we have to do our part!)

*too fat or thin, not attractive enough.....(Oprah has struggled with her weight, but she became the most powerful women (person) in the media...true talent doesn't have a size or a beauty rating! I've seen some "pretty" people that were the ugliest people I've ever seen, and no one wanted them around!)

*you have kids and don't know how you'll do it....(I know of an actress, that was so desired, the studio paid for her to move to Hollywood, they paid for her house in the Hills, and they paid for her to have a Nanny service at her disposal...a lot of my friends are moms, or single moms...and they have been able to make their dreams come true, with their babies right by their side!)...everyone knows, moms have incredible work ethics, they can multi-task like nobody's business....maybe you can't answer the phone when kids are yelling...but thank goodness for email and texting! ha ha ha ha

I made small decisions to help get my "big dreams" jump started...
*I made the choice to enroll in beauty school (that's all I knew to do at the time)
* I decided I was going to talk to salons and see if I could do make-up for prom
*I made flyers and put them up advertising my make-up services
*I made lil postcards and business cards to give to people, so they knew I was a "make-up artist"
*I made a little portfolio of all my friends I had put make-up on
*I made appointments with all the local photographers and advertising agencies to show them my "portfolio"...and I started getting work!
*I decided I was going to go talk to an award winning make-up artist at a hair show...

and before I knew it....I was walking onto movie sets, into the offices of MTV with my make-up kit to work, and being listed as key make-up for tv shows and commercials...and hiring my own team of make-up artists and hair stylists for jobs!

Each small decision I made, was going to have a huge effect!

(not only does Janice Dickinson, have a bigger than life personality, she coined the bigger-than-average-model term, "supermodel"....this was me and Janice, after I did her make-up)

So today...or even next week...start making tiny decisions to power up your big dreams!!!

Remember, every giant journey...is made up of a bunch of little steps....
typed with huge love for you and your dreams...kandee

I'm gonna fall!

where is this place: this is where I run
why: because it's just a dirt trail...with nothing around but the sound of your feet hitting the dirt, your breathing, and usually some small people asking for more juice or snacks....ha ha ha

One day I had already run my 5.5 miles...but there is this one trail that goes up the mountain, pretty steeply...but the view from up there is breath-stealing....
I was already tired and felt worn out...but I just wanted to push myself...I knew that even though it would hurt my already tire muscles...but as I could feel each muscle pulling me up the steep, soft, sandy trail...digging my toes in and leaning forward to keep balance...
a though popped into my head...
Even though it hurts...and feels hard and you want to give up and go back down.....
I knew every muscles that tearing apart...would grow from that...stronger than before!
That each even in my life, that has torn my heart, and felt impossible.....
the heart, being the strongest muscle....would grow back stronger than before!

Each thing in your life that feels discouraging, each person that has broken your spirit, each moment when you've felt more alone than you think you can stand....KNOW that in all those moments...when you stood through them....you grew stronger!

Think of each difficult situation..being like doing one more rep of a workout...that you know hurts, but you know when you are done...you are going to have the most chiseled muscle in the world.....
not just sculpted legs..or chiseled arms....but the most important muscle of them all....you constantly beating heart!

In the bible it says, "Guard your heart, for it is the well-spring of life"....and that is so true....
If we strengthen our hearts...no one or nothing can take us down....

We are all "get-back-uppers"....none of this we're getting knocked down....no way......if we do fall......we're not focusing on the falling...we're focusing on the "get-back-upping"!

And the best part is...when you have someone that helps pull you up...and that's what all of you have done for me....I love you all so much...and I cherish all your precious words and have stored them away in my heart!
huge love, your kandee

love day...

Oooh Valentine's Day...I know some people don't like Valentine's Day...but I love any chance you get to celebrate love or any extra reason you get show someone...anyone, that you love them!
It doesn't have to be a significant other..it can be your kids, friends, parent, brother or sister...grandparents...

Everyone loves being told they are loved...and especially being shown that they are loved. I love giving people little love-gifts, whether it's a card, cupcakes I baked, or a little something that I think they will love...

Here's an extra "glammy" make-up look for Valentine's Day....whether your at school, work, or for your V-day Night out...here's a pretty look for your v-day date...
and if it's a Valentine's day Girls-Night-Out....you will feel extra cute...and maybe you'll snag single guy on valentine's day...who knows!

Instead of hating Valentine's Day...celebrate love and everyone that you love this day...and let it be an extra special day to celebrate someone, kind of like a birthday....but a love day!

Enjoy this video...and pass a little extra love on to someone today...give a compliment, tell someone you love them, give someone a little gift, or offer a little bit of your time, for a caring phone call, text, or just offering to spend some time!

Love and smiles, kandee

i have a....

I have a dream......Martin Luther King Jr., is celebrated today for his dream of having a society that all got along, no matter what their skin color...his life was devoted to peacefully creating a change in our country and the rest of the world!

Martin Luther King Jr., had a dream...and he shared it with the world! I know that each one of you has a dream...maybe you have kept it locked up safely in your heart, so that no one will hurt it....maybe you've shared your dream and it was made fun of....maybe you feel like your dream will never become real...and you've given up!

Today I encourage you...no matter what is going on in your life....listen to this other amazing saying from Mr. King.....

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -Martin Luther King Jr
..if life and it's troubles have gotten you down, people have made fun of you, you feel discouraged and sad...even heartbroken!!!

I want to boost up your heart...and say....."We are are strong! Are our dreams are special and we have them for a reason! God put those dreams in your heart for a very special reason!!! It's just up to us to be willing to go through all the difficulties we may face, to make them real!"

No matter what size you are, color you are, the way you dress, the make up you wear, the lifestyle you choice to have, the people you choose to love, the amount of money you have, or don't have...what people have told you...none of that matters!!!

It matters what's in your heart...if no one else is telling you, you can do it! I AM!!! You CAN do it....I'll take the KAN- straight out of Kandee and give it to you! I believe in each one of you...if you don't give up, and don't settle for anyone's "No's"...or "you can't do that", or "you?!? how are you gonna do that?!?"....Don't listen to any of it!

Each one of us is special, and was created with our own unique dreams inside...that is your dream garden...and you are the only one who can water it and make it grow! I want to shine some sunshine on your dream today...now you go water it and make it grow!!!

this was typed with so much love.....if you know anyone who could use this today, please feel free to pass it on.....may we start spreading more love and sunshine this year....huge love, kandee

Nose-less Neytiri (AVATAR)

I did this look Avatar look yesterday, with Neytiri's make-up look...I used a "fake" nose...this was after I took my fake shnozzzz off...I thought it looked really funny! I should have the tutorial up next week.

And man, was there a blue mess trying to get all this off....wait til you see how I made the nose out of play-doh! IT was awesome!

I shot a lot of really cool videos yesterday too...

And for everyone who has been sending their love, and prayers, and heavenly "sparkles" to me....I treasure and cherish each one of you and I thank God for all the encouragement and support you pour out on me! I really wish I could give you guys an update and tell you how everything is going...but unfortunately...at this point in time, everything I say, is being twisted around, and as sad as it is...people like to talk about things, assume things and jump to the craziest, far-fetched conclusions.

My mom told me tonight: "when you're going through hell, just keep on going!"...and that is true...
if you're were walking through the most dangerous scary place...you probably wouldn't stop and sit down and say, "oh man, this sure is awful! Gosh I hate being here....what am I gonna do?!?",
heck no! I'd be running, as fast as I could, to get out of there!

The most amazing people have been through the most heartbreaking situations. Remember, like I always say, "it's the broken and shattered mirrors, that give off the most sparkle and light"....

so maybe tonight, you and I are giving off a little extra sparkle and shine.....

huge love and shining sparkles your way, kandee

Running fast & crying hard...

yesterday I ran fast...and cried hard
It felt good...and I ran for a long time, I ran 5 1/2 miles and then I ran another mile or so up a mountain...and sat and cried...

And all I can say, is that all of you precious people that offered to send me some "love blessings".....you have no idea what a blessing and what precious people you are to my heart...I never asked for help...but you all extended your caring hands and loving hearts to help me....I want to say thank you from the deepest part of my heart...I feel like we are all in this together...and I don't feel so alone! My heart is sending you the biggest hugs....i heart you all!

THE HAPPIEST PART OF MY DAY YESTERDAY:
Somehow I stumbled upon a live broadcast channel, where everyone could see me on the video chat...it wasn't the best, so everyone told me to go to BLOGtv...which did...and I think we had over 300 viewers watching and chatting with me live and asking questions....and everyone got to meet Jordan...it was so fun, and it was so hard to want to stop....I would've stayed ont here for hours if I didn't need to take a shower so badly!

Thank you everyone that was on there and shared their love and awesome words...It was one of the most fun things I've done in a long time! I can't wait to do it again. Stay posted to my twitter:
www.twitter.com/kandeejohnson , i can do a post about when I'll be going on. And on my facebook to probably...
IF YOU GO TO www.blogtv.com, then my username is: kandeejohnson
and then you'll get to interact with me live, like we're just hanging out! IT was so fun....thank you all for giving me a bright spot in my kinda sad day!
i heart you all...

I'm filming some airbrush make-up videos today, with Dinair....I'm so excited!!!! Tell you about it later! huge love, kandee

hair did's and hidden treasures in manure....

this me-
with my hair up...wearing my fav silver chain from Forever 21...earring from the "21" also!

I will post the hair video below....but right before I do....

I wanted to tell you...so I was having a crappy day the other day, with my court case and all...it's still in the back of my mind...but, that day, later in the night I realized!!! "Lo and behold, I haven't checked my emails today!".......man, my day was crappo-----and then I see my "inbox" was full of good news and opportunities...
I hate this part, becuase I want to share everything with you guys as soon as I find out...you're lie my family!!! And some of these I have to wait to talk about, for some reason or another!

But what I CAN say: is that sometimes our life seems real "poopy"....and that is exactly when the most beautiful "flowers" of wonder can grow....the most beautiful flowers grow out of manure (poop)....
So if you life is feeling poopy, crappy, and not good....remember:
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS GROW OUT OF MANURE

sometimes the most messed up situations were actually preparing you and putting you in a place for greatness...
the most messed up and bad relationships.....that you felt caused so much heartache, had to be broken so you could actually find your "REAL" true love...
the most backwards steps, away from your dreams, were actually lining you up just right to really achieve them....
the most heartbreaking day.....was growing your heart, for the biggest blessing that needed more room in your heart to fill up!!!

So...if your day is crappy, say HOORAY...something good is gonna' grow out of this poop! ha ha ha

typed with huge amounts of love, kandee

and now to finish it off with a messy, fast, hair video.....happy hair!

okayyyyy

today one of the things that made me happy was editing this video!
Please enjoy this, until I can tell you what is going on....
I love you all hugely....and thank you so much for you love and support!!!
typed with love and thanks....kandee

ENJOY THIS VIDEO that made me happy, making it for you!!!!!

I got......

FANNNNNSSSSSS.....
I can't tell you how exciting it is to have someone come up and tell you how excited they are to meet you!!! It makes me so excited to meet them too!!!!
Last night when I went to have dinner with my girls...I was asked:
Are you Kandee Johnson?
me: yes!!!! (in my high pitched- 4 year old voice...I don't like my voice!ha ha ha)
She then tells me her friend asked her to go and stop me...hee hee hee
(PS, It was so great to meet you Rachel and friends!!! Hope your dinner was yummy too!)
And the day before in Forever 21 I got "recognized", and asked for my picture too!

I felt like a princess or something! So if you ever see me anywhere, please feel free to come up to me and say hi, I will give you a huge hug! I promise!

If in anything...in any moment, stirs inside you to do something.....DO IT! I was talking to my mom today, and we were talking about, how sometimes you need to just do things. Don't think about them too much, don't plan things out so much, it steals the time away from just DOING that thing you want to do!

I know people that plan so much, that's all they do is plan, and they never DO anything! One day, I just filmed my little video on how to clean your brushes (my first video on youtube), I did my first attempt at editing a video, and posted that little guy! If I had planned it out so much, I would've said, "well no, I need a website first", "I don't even have a logo", "who's gonna watch it?", "what if no one looks at the video?"...."I should, I should, I should....."....
NO! I just uploaded it...DOING IS WHERE IT'S AT! Without DOING something, it doesn't matter what you plan....so to steal Nike's slogan: "JUST DO IT!"

Your it can be anything:
telling someone something
starting a new career
changing a habit
getting in shape
going after your dreams
dressing how you want
changing your hair
ANYTHING!

Just DO SOMETHING this week that maybe you've been putting off...just one little "I DID IT!!!", this week, and watch what happens! huge love, your kandee.....

I get to PREMIERE something!

oh my! oh my white rabbit! Get ready to glam it up at a tea party..with URBAN DECAY's fabulous new book of eyeshadows...that is celebrating Disney's Alice In Wonderland movie....

the girls at Urban Decay, sent me this adorable little treasure to show all of you before it comes out!!!! It came in a box with a little bottle of Godiva White chocolate sauce with a tag that said: DRINK ME...a little "giant" pill case, with mints...and a beautiful mug with a "K" on it! It was like an adventure just opening it!!!

I immediately smacked these colors on my lids....these colors create the most beautiful smokey eye....and just wait til I play around with the colors!!!! This is an AWESOME deal to get all these colors, the eye primer, 2 eye liners....and all these beautiful, pigmented colors!!!

Thanks so much to Kat at Urban Decay for sending this to me! I was like a little girl at Christmas opening this!!! I love it!!!

YOU CAN GET ONE TOO!!!! This little gem comes out JANUARY 15th at www.urbandecay.com...
get yours before they are all gone, like a white rabbit, down a rabbit hole!!!!



and here's some of the ALICE in WOnderland looks I've done already!



have a fun and dazzling day, kandee

my home sweet home....

i love this table and chairs.....this is not a picture of my house...but I wish these were in my house! hee hee hee

So here is a tour of my house....
FACTS:
I do not own this house...I just rent it...
Some of the furniture, I have re-created..painted, re-upholstered....made it new again!

Sometimes that's how our lives are...
maybe we are not thrilled with how our lives are looking....but all it takes it a couple changes, a couple fresh coats of paint, re-upholster some of our ways of thinking, add some dazzle...and BANGO!!! we are in love with our lives again!

*Today do something different, wear something that your heart says, "I love this!!!!", even if you think people will make fun of you...decide not to care if they do!

*If you have a little extra pocket change, buy yourself a little sparkly-treasure that will make your day happy!

*Decide that no matter what happens today...you will find something positive about it!
(oh I have to wait in line......well now I can send some really nice texts to people, I can call someone I haven't talked to in a while and tell them how I appreciate them as a friend)

*Make a good choice about food today..instead of a big platter of fried things, choose some fruit or a veggie, and you'll notice how you'll better, and you'll be very proud of yourself!

It's time to make-over our life-houses....redecorate your life, your wardrobe, and your feelings!
I guarantee you're gonna love your new life, you make for yourself!

In the meantime, here's a little tour of my house! And for everyone that asked, where's Blaker's room...he sleeps on the little bed in Alani's room...he doesn't like sleeping alone...

happy house touring..huge love..kandee
I have lived in very small places that weren't very nice...this is the nicest house I've lived in!
This is such a blessing that God has proved this home and a way for me to pay my rent here!

a candy kind of sky....

yesterday: a bit of a frazzly day
I had to talk with an attorney about a court date I have for this monday...this court date scares me, I've seen unjust things take place in courtrooms...I am being faced with false accusations about me which aren't true...and I do not want to go to court at all....but I will not let someone accuse me of things which aren't true.

My day was feeling overwhelming...and all I wanted was to have someone put their arms around me and tell me it would all be okay. Then, I looked outside my door...and it was as if God said, here's a present for you...this "kandee colored" sky to bring joy to your heart. It was like giving soul a hug, and I could feel, in this "heavenly" beauty that I was receiving the biggest, most heart warming hug around!

Sometimes we don't always have people close to us, to comfort us, or to hug us, but we do always have the Man Upstairs, to comfort our hurting hearts.

Sometimes we don's take notice of this little "heavenly" moments of beauty. I encourage each one of you that reads this...to open your hearts and your eyes, to enjoy and see these "special" treasures that sprinkle beauty into our day.

Notice the person smiling at you at the store...and smile back, notice a pretty flower, and maybe even breathe in it's perfumey goodness. Look at the sky for enchanting twinkly stars, or your very own candy colored sunset. These little moments are what make life beautiful, and sometimes we get so busy and caught up in our own world that we shut our eyes to the beauty and joy that God is trying to sprinkle into our lives!

I hope you see a sunset or moonrise that makes you pause...and take in some heart beauty!
huge love and hot pink sunsets...kandee

Gunshot to the heart....

this is where I run sometimes....I ran past this "gun-shot"-land...where everything from toilet seats to tv's became target practice for all kinds of ammo...and it reminded me of our dreams and hearts sometimes....
Sometimes it feels like our dreams, our hearts, our future has been shot to pieces...
Left to lay lifeless...without hope....BUT
What sometimes is even more beautiful...is the imperfection...all the holes make it more beautiful, so more light can shine through....like a beautiful piece of lace, or a beautiful sky filled with clouds...and through the holes and spaces in the clouds is where the most beautiful beams of light some shining through.

If your heart feels injured or your dreams feel dead....know that...the most amazing stories came out of things that didn't seem possible. A plant can grow out of a rock...that seems impossible!
You can plant a bamboo seed...and it looks like nothing is happening...the first year nothing happens, but the root is growing deep (that's our lives, the time we keep believing, the emotion we go through)...still above ground it looks hopeless..you'd give up on that plant that never popped up!
BUT JUST WAIT!!!!!
After that the bamboo plant can shoot up over 4 feet in 24 hours, that's almost as tall as a 10 year old!!! That's how our dreams and hearts can be....even if it looks like nothing is happening...life and everything we go through is getting us ready to "catapult" into extreme growth like the bamboo!

Keep your hopes alive and your heart and chin even higher...no matter what is going on...think of it as getting you stronger and more prepared for greatness!!!
I believe in you and love you..if no one else tells you that today! I did!
huge love, kandee

protection!!!

(this photo was taken by: myself...inside the standard hotel in downtown LA...in their restaurant that makes you feel like you're in an egg carton)

i love my leopard iphone cover...correction:i LOVED it....I no longer have both sides of the "iphone" protector...(i got it at some random kiosk in a mall....at the AMERICANA in Glendale, California to be exact...hee hee hee...right out front of Anthropologie...if you wanna get one too!)

I have friends that think the "protectors" aren't cool...thus they have a naked iphone..that sure enough is scratched and a little banged up....
We need to protect the things that are valuable to us...I protect my phone, because it was expensive! I protect my car...by trying not to park next to someone that has parked all wonky...so that my car doesn't get smashered...and I try to protect my dreams...my heart......my thoughts...the people I love....
Our hearts need to be protected the most...
our heart pumps blood to keep us alive....and it is the center of our thoughts and our thinking...
who do we love, how do we love...how we get our hurt or discouraged....
Today...
but the key thing here is...we protect what we value...
So today...protect your heart and mind from...others mean things....from maybe even your own dangerous thoughts....from letting people hurt you or discourage you...
No one else is going to protect your heart and you mind, but you....
Refuse to think thoughts that aren't going to help you....refuse to let someone's meanie words...scratch your heart....
Together we can all put on our leopard print-protective-heart-cases.....hee hee...we'll be stylish and protected..from damage all at the same time!!!
huge, huge love, kandee

oh no, backwards!!!!

in warmer weather...this is where I run......I run really far sometimes.
I used to hate running...then it became like a therapy...I would process all my thoughts...listen to music, and when a day went by that I didn't run, I felt like i was not right.

Sometimes I would run really far, in the wrong direction, because I knew it would make my run longer on the way back.....making me into better shape.

Last night as I left a message for my mom on her cell phone....I said something, that really hit my heart...I didn't even really think all hard about what I was saying. But I told her, sometimes, we have to go backwards in life...and it may seem like, "oh no! now I'm really never going to get where I want to be!"....
but it's like a catapult.....you need to pull the catapult backwards...so it has the power to launch it's object farther ahead!

I know this feeling, when I had to move out of LA, I felt like all my dreams were never going to happen. I was going way, way, way, into the WRONG DIRECTION!!! And then I had more of my babies...and thought: "I just really screwed up my life!"......but God knew the whole time, what he was doing...
When I was put in that position, where I couldn't really work because of all my new little people, and I wasn't in LA where I could get all my work.....that's when I started the youtube videos....and I have received more blessings....my heart has been so touched and inspired...and it has been more rewarding than any make-up job I ever could've gotten with any celebrity or any movie!

If you feel like you are going backwards.....in your life, relationship, career, dreams, school...anything....just get ready, because, your probably about to be launched farther into your future...think CATAPULT!!!!

you gotta go backwards...before you catapult into your future!!!!
huge love and catapulting, kandee

this is how life is sometimes

majestic mornings.....

this was the view from the
Motel 6 in Mammoth.....the first morning of the new year....
I walked outside to go buy a Vitamin water....and the beauty of the mountains stole my breath away...all around...are the most beautiful, more-than-your-eyes can take in....mountains. The tallest mountain in the contiguous United States is in this mountain range, Mt. Whitney.

Sometimes it may seem like we have the tallest mountains of difficulty in our lives. We may look our lives and say, oh this is too big to ever overcome...this pain is too much, the frustration is too overwhelming.

Instead we need to develop our wings...wings like eagles. They make nest in the highest, most dangerous locations. Instead of running and hiding like a chicken would when they see danger...eagles just fly higher! That's what we need to do. When we see things in life getting more difficult....instead of shrinking down and hiding, and saying "oh well, it's too much, I'll never be able to do that...I'll never be able to be happy"......We need to fly even higher....go even farther...we truly can "fly" above our problems......
No one said we need to just sit and take whatever problems or hurts, we have in our paths! We need to just decide that we are going to have wings like eagles....and fly above them!

When you're feeling hurt or sad...or discouraged....that's the time we need to put our "eagle wings" on and soar beyond the hurt and the sadness. God even says when we "fly" with him, it's like we are soaring high with wings like eagles!

So let's soar high above all of life's troubles this year with wings like eagles!!!

huge love....your fellow eagle flyer...kandee

i'm gonna start or stop......

(me and my friend Saori on new year's...in mammoth...and yes I wore an old Marine coat..I loved it, as was the most "clothed" girl there...ha ha ha)
....oh the new years resolutions...
gym's make a killing this time of year with all the people pledging to get in shape!

I am working on a few things...and yes, working our more regularly is one of them! ha ha ha

All I know is that, in a year, so many things can happen...
this time last year...I was doing..well...not as great as I am right now...
I was having trouble paying all my bills...I was at then end of a "not fun" divorce...work was not keeping me very busy...and I was a little depressed and sad...

in one year....my life has really turned around....I started blogging....doing videos on youtube...so much love started flowing in from everyone that sent me kind and encouraging words...I've worked a lot harder this year than I think I ever have...and even though sometimes I've wanted to cry or think , "this is too hard, I can't keep up"....I just kept going!

This year is fresh and clean, and it doesn't matter what's been done in the past...this is like getting a brand new canvas to paint on...
whatever hurts and frustrations...were in the past year...leave them there..ans start new...with boldness, happiness and lots of hope! This could be the year that:
your dreams start to come true, you find your true love, your happiness returns, you become the best you that you've always wanted...

dream big and hope even bigger...this is the year to be the changes that you want....become the person you want to show the world...love bold and brave...and do things that scare you...you'll be glad you did...talk to the people that make you nervous, say the things that you usually keep trapped inside....love more people than you did last year....and give more compliments away...let's spread more love this year everywhere we go...and in return we will feel more loved!!!!

happiest new year!!!! may 2010 be filled with sparkles, love, dreams, and lots of hope!!!
xoxoxo kandee